Misc Cards

Cover Message: You know that saying,
'the best things come in small packages'?
Inside Message: That's what men with small
packages day. Merry Christmas!
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Cover Message: Doll! Did you hear they found
what causes spontaneous combustion?
Inside Message: Farting during a hot flash.
Keep a fan handy, and have
a Happy Birthday!
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Cover Message: All my friends were
doing it, so I finally got it waxed.
Inside Message: I can't believe how nice
and smooth my face is. Happy Birthday!
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Cover Message: Just remember, Doll -
First husbands are like training bras.
Inside Message: Quickly outgrown, mostley for show,
and no good when you need heavy lifting.
All the best!
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Cover Message: When it comes to men, you got to know when to hold them, know when to scold them, know when to walk away
Inside Message: Know where to grab and twist to get their full attention. Happpy Birthday, Doll.
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Cover Message: How can you tell you had too much fun on your birthday?
Inside Message: Your OBGYN hears an echo. Happy Birthday, Doll!
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Cover Message: I used to visit museums
Inside Message: but I had to stop when a group of kids gathered and the guide started describing me. Happy Birthday!
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Cover Message: It's the latest in self-defense.
Inside Message: 'Perky Repellent'
Don't thank me, just have a fabulous birthday.
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Cover Message: Thank goodness they finally decided there's global warming.
Inside Message: I thought it was just me. Happy Birthday!
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Cover Message: So listen Doll, if you have a cute doctor...
Inside Message: consider wearing your hospital gown backwards. Get better soon!
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Cover Message: I don't know why women complain about pantyhose?
Inside Message: At least when your lady parts drop, they're easier to find. Happy Birthday, Doll
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Cover Message: So Doll, if he says he needs to find himself, tell him
Inside Message: 'You're a jerk. There, I saved you the trip.'
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Cover Message: You know, Sis, you were always 'the pretty one'.
Inside Message: Which forced me to be 'the gorgeous one'. Happy Birthday!
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Cover Message:
A Little Chicken Soup
Should make you feel better
Inside Message:
Says who jerkface?!
image of chickens
Get Well Soon!
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Only 1 still available.
Cover Message:
Girl, you put the "fun"...
Inside Message:
...back in dysfunctional!
Happy Birthday
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Cover Message:
Birthdays are a gas!
He oughta know.
Inside Message:
Hope you birthday's a real gas!
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Cover Message:
At our age, there's one thing
we know we can count on...
Inside Message:
Gravity always wins.
Happy Birthday
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Only 1 still available.
Cover Message:
Contrary to popular belief, the sun
isn't all that bad for us.
Inside Message:
For example, when I squint,
you look ten years younger!
Happy Birthday
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Cover Message:
First comes love...
Then comes marriage...
Inside Message:
Then come visits from all those in-laws!
Congratulations on Your Wedding
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Cover Message:
Looks like you've both
decided to take the plunge.
Inside Message:
Congratulations on Your Wedding
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Cover Message:
You wanna play doctor?
Okay! You act smug and overchage me,
and I'll raise hell about the high
cost of my prescriptions!
Inside Message:
Get Well Soon
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Cover Message:
Welcome, Sweet Cheeks!
Inside Message:
Congratulations to the Proud Parents!
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Cover Message:
Be it ever sohumble,
There's no place like home.
Inside Message:
Congratulations on you new digs!
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Cover Message:
This reminds me of my first school
dance, when I snuck behind the
lockers with Big George Henderson.
Inside Message:
Who says the memory is the first
thing to go? Happy Birthday
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Cover Message:
Thought your youth is rather iffy...
Inside Message:
You're still lookin mighty spiffy!
Happy Birthday
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Cover Message:
See...FLYING SAUCERS Are Real!
Inside Message:
...and you and I don't look a day
over 21! Happy Birthday
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Cover Message:
At my age, I'm indifferent about
celbrating birthdays.
Inside Message:
I celebrate in differnet shops...
In different boutiques...
In different sho stores...
Happy Birthday
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Cover Message:
This is huge! It's monumental!
Inside Message:
It's bigger than my butt!
It's your Birthday!
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Cover Message:
A leading national think tank offers
this advice on coping with againg...
Inside Message:
They think you should go to a bar
and get tanked. Happy Birthday
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Cover Message:
I heard you birthday party is
B.Y.O.B.
Inside Message:
Bring Your Own Bran.
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Cover Message:
It's your birthday, so spend the
whole day in bed if you like.
Inside Message:
What time do you want me there?
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Cover Message:
Try as we might...
Inside Message:
...there just isn't any practical way
to reverse the effects of gravity.
Happy Birthday to someone who's
holding up better than most!
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